The art of ‘waiting for the call’ : how do I know when it is the ‘right’ time to try out a plant medicine ceremony?

Article written by Helen

The first ‘invitation’ from Ayahuasca:

I was heartbroken. That evening, my partner at the time told me he wanted to have sex with my best friend. We were all about to go out to an event and I was feeling heightened states of: unworthiness, jealousy, heartbreak, despair…etc. I did what I was used to doing then: put on the brave face, pushed the emotions down and went out, pretending all was okay. As a bulimic at the time, the only way I knew how to do it was suppress, avoid, project passive aggressively and later binge/purge to release the unwanted feelings (this obviously never worked and became an addictive cyclical).

I felt like something was about to explode inside of me and had a sense of coming to the end of my tether with not being able to cope in life.

It was in this state that a woman, whom I had met for the first time that evening and to whom I had vented all my issues, told me: “It sounds like you could really benefit from an ayahuasca ceremony.”

To which I responded a full bodied: YES.

I was at a point in life where I was desperate and had tried everything…

Years previous I had been treading multiple paths of healing bulimia through therapy (CBT, talk and alternative spiritual), expanding my consciousness and having mystical experiences with meditation and yoga, and holding down working as a qualified teacher and then physiotherapist in training. I had read all the self help and books on spirituality. I had attempted to get into several intimate relationships as a desire of mine was to have a partner. All the while, not telling a soul about my secret coping mechanism (bingeing and purging).

…I had heard about ayahuasca 10 years previous and intuitively felt I wasn’t ready. I felt afraid of psychedelics and my mind was saying “you don’t need something that extreme, Helen.” and I wasn’t curious enough. Also, on the yogic path, I was getting my mystical experiences through meditation, breath work, reading spiritual scriptures etc.

I had also heard the advice ‘wait for the invitation’ from abuelita (grandmother) ayahuasca. She will let you know when you are ready.

This night, after so many years of suffering, swinging from intensely high states to intensely low; not coping in relationship with myself and others; unable to find contentment in job and purpose…it seemed time. And here was my direct invitation!

Thoughts & feelings on how we know when we’re ready

Bodily wisdom and Intuition

Since this first ceremony, which invited me into deep self inquiry, healing and expansion, I have sat in over 50 ayahuasca ceremonies and participated in several plant dietas.

Whilst I will not claim I ‘know’ anything about the mysteries of plant consciousness and how it operates… I will offer my personal experience and wisdom having worked closely with them for several years.

Plants do seem to have their own consciousness connected with ours. They invite us into feeling and using intuition (rather than working from the intellectual mind, to which we are most accustomed in the West). In other words, the more you try to understand them with your thinking mind, the less you will find you will understand. Trust, faith and intuition is needed on this path as this is how the plants communicate with us!

On my own personal journey, I have learned to observe my thinking mind and return to more neutral communicative pathways: bodily feelings, breath, nature, music, dance.

Bearing this is in mind, I now respond to the intuitive nudges I sense in the environment and in my own body. We must be kind to ourselves as this is a whole journey in and of itself! (which I am still treading).

So, when it comes to ‘hearing the call’, I understand these to be quiet whispers and nudges of rightness. If a direct invitation comes, do you want to say yes? Where do you feel it in your body? Do you notice a curiosity or an opening when plant medicines are discussed? Are you creating sufficient space to quietly listen to your inner world?

Previous exploration of healing/consciousness/your inner world!

The moment I drank my first cup of ayahuasca and experienced the intensity of the journey, I remember feeling infinitely grateful for all of the self exploration, healing work, therapy, yogic breathing exercises, meditation and general self awareness i had cultivated over the years.

It meant I had both some tools and some language to bring to what I had experienced. Don’t get me wrong, it was still a complete mystery and a large part of my journey has been embracing the unknown! I do still believe that all of my previous work prepared me for that night and for the months that followed.

Ayahuasca will show you all parts of yourself and one must be prepared for that. This isn’t a ‘get your trip and leave’ situation! Nor is it a quick fix…In my experience, ayahuasca shines a light on emotions/trauma/experiences we may have repressed. The real work begins after ceremony when we have to deal with what we have been shown, within the context of our day-to-day lives. This is what we mean by integration. It seems the work truly never stops after your first ceremony and the levels of self inquiry and exploration just goes deeper and deeper!

Depending on the levels of therapy/self inquiry/inner work you have done prior to ceremony and was the ceremony brings up for you, this can really create a big life shift.

I would consider some level of self enquiry before signing up to come to a plant medicine ceremony.

Some questions might look like:

•  Have I sat with myself for a long period?

•  Have I engaged in therapy?

•  Do I have relationships where we talk about our emotions?

•  Do I have methods to calm my mind in day-to-day life?

•  Do I have a support system to return home to after ceremony?

•  Am I ready to commit time (outside of work/personal life) to deeply learning about myself?

Acceptance of the mystery

As with everything, I must also admit that I never really know (as far as my thinking mind goes!) when the ‘right’ time is to part take in a ceremony. There are many factors included here, such as…

-    Sometimes we need to learn ‘wrong’ in order to know what ‘right’ feels like

-    Each of our souls is on a unique journey and will learn the lessons it needs to learn at exactly the right time

-    Who are we to try and control this experience of life?

Perhaps my truest response to this title is, I do not perceive a ‘right’ and a ‘wrong’ time, but simply life playing out amongst each of us. Whatever we choose to respond to will teach us the lessons and project us onto a certain timeline. The experience of grandmother ayahuasca is entirely unpredictable and different each time I sit with her.

Our job to surrender our minds as much as possible and relinquish control over something extraordinary, mystical, transformative, deeply healing, powerful and life-changing.